Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Oh Happy Day!

I've been jobless for almost a year now, and I've been tiptoeing around so much.  I only have 48$ to my name, meaning that I can't do a damn thing.  I freak out whenever I cough or my ear aches, thinking that this could lead to me needing to head over to a walk in clinic.  Fridays I get down on myself because Grendal and I can't chip in for a nice meal with out buddies.  Its even hard for me to buy cat essentials and my monthly, womanly items.  To make things worse, I'm living with Grendal and his parents.  Out of the four of us in the house, only one of us has a job.  To add more pain to it all Grendal's elder sister, and her family of 4, lives next door and mooches off the family.  Both families are going through hard times and it irks Grendal and myself that she shamelessly does this, but we have no control.

I'm hoping that is about to change.

Applications are the bane of my existence right now but since I need an income I kept putting in more.  I found out that Teavana was opening a shop in a nearby mall and thought 'why the hell not.'  So, Saturday morning I submitted my online application and figured I wouldn't hear from them.  Three days later(ie yesterday) I do my daily email check and the first thing I see is an email titled 'Interview Invitation.'  And it was from Teavana.  I freak out, flail at Grendal to look at the computer, and then proceed to do a little happy dance.  This is the first application out of all that I put in that had a response.  I know its only an interview but its a HUGE first step.  I worked at Starbucks for a little over a year and loved it.  Part of me is hoping that whole bit propels me forward and helps land me a job.  I mean, I don't care what position it is, I just need this job.  Plus, I'm hoping to get some nice tea discounts out of this. :D

So, my interview is tomorrow.  I've already put out an offering and asked that things are favorable for me in this endeavor.  I'll do the same tonight and probably do something right before my interview tomorrow.  Here's to hoping that my luck is turning around!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Witchy Meme

Saw this on a few different blogs and, well, decided why the hell not.

Please describe briefly your Path: Its an odd array of things. Since I'm not part of a coven or group of any sort, I just became a cherry picker. Certain things sounded better then others and I applied that. Its my own thing and really odd. Eclectic is the only word I suppose.

Please describe briefly how you practice it: I work alone. I do my things at night for the most part and it is VERY spontaneous. If I feel like I need to do something, I do it because there has to be some reason why that thought/feeling cropped up.

When did you first commit to your Path?  Heh, I was in the 6th grade when one of my female friends, at a slumber party, brought this stuff up. All the girls thought it was cool, we watched The Craft that night and what not. She and I were the only ones who stuck with it, though it may not have been 'good.'

How is your practice different now than it was then? I'm serious about what I do now. I think about it and try not to do this in the heat of the moment. It's like night and day, actually.

Is your practice different today than how you thought it would be back then? Oh yeah. I was inspired by witch movies, so its very different then my little 6th grade mind had planned. Plus I've found deities I never thought I would.

Does your Path and core belief system differ now than how it was when you first started? Yes. I lean towards Egyptian and Canaanite deities rather than just the Goddess and the God, and back then I didn't really grasp the meaning in all of it.

What is your heritage and how does this inform your Path? I'm a huge mix of European nationalities. For a while I was told I was also half Hawai'ian.  While I still consider myself as such, that Hawai'ian side is actually Portuguese, the Azores to be exact. My descendants were some of the first Portuguese there and they lived on the Islands long enough to be considered Hawai'ian. Because I had been raised with that Hawai'ian side of me very prominent I learned a LOT about the deities. I've paid homage to Pele and know all the stories. While I don't actively worship them, if I do return to visit family I'll pay homage to them when I can.

What are your main influences for your Path? Bah, I don't know. Grendal and nature in general. Grendal supports me and we talk about all of this a lot. Nature-wise, I just try to keep in tune.

Which do you do more: practice or research? Research. I read a lot but wish I could do more practice. Things get in the way and I try to at least thank the deities in my mind when I can. I really need to do more stuff.

Do you feel that one is more important than the other? Not really and I can probably blame my own self for that. I need balance where ever possible.

What values and ethics are important on your Path and in your practice? Balance, equality, patience, and trying not to harm others, unless absolutely necessary(I can explain at another time). 

What sort of cycles do you feel your practice goes through? Normal highs and lows. I get into those stints where its all I think about and others where I can't seem to focus.

What is one of the greatest obstacles or struggles you have had to over come? Acceptance from friends/family and, in turn, not caring.

How do you see yourself practicing in ten years? Probably no different though I hope I bring my beliefs more and more in my life.

How do you incorporate your practice into your life? Being so close to nature. It helps remind me.

Has walking your Path changed you as a person? Oh yeah. I'm more even and I have found my love nature that I thought was left in my childhood.

Do you consider yourself to be a priest/ess? How so? I could be but not now. I practice alone.

A witch? How so? Depends on your definition of the word.

A shaman? How so? Nope. Have no idea about shamanism, so I don't claim to be a shaman.

Which matters more: getting the vocabulary right or the actual practice of what we are trying to define? It always bothers me when I look at huge rituals and wonder how people can remember all of their lines. And if they do the same thing each time, you just end up going through the motions and the feeling behind it might not be all that great. For me, its the practice.

One of the most profound things anyone ever said to you was: I guess there is two. 1- 'Oh, you're Pagan too? Awesome.'  2- 'My mother and father know all about that. They'd love to talk about it.'  They're profound to me, dang it!

A defining moment on your Path was: The dream that I had when Ba'al made himself known to me. :D

Have you ever taken a “leap of faith”? When I first started, it was a leap.

Please tell us something stupid, reckless or embarrassing you did once in your practice: Voodoo.....nasty stuff if you don't know what you're doing.  ._.

What is the most frustrating thing about your Path? Not being able to stick to it.

Have you ever been frightened? Yup.....the voodoo instance.

Can you perform ritual without a script? Yeah, because I don't use 'em.

Have you ever preformed spontaneous magick/spellcraft? All the freakin' time!

What are you still exploring or experimenting with? Heh, everything I suppose. I believe one is never done learning.

What (or whom) are you the most committed to in your practice and on your Path? Bast and Ba'al at the moment.

Ritual tools are …what ever I can find!

Magickal tools are …what ever I can find!

The one thing you can’t do without is: My necklace. It has a dragon and a cat on it....means a lot.

Seeking personal power is …natural.

Politics and you Path are …I don't like to talk politics. Too much fighting.

One thing you wish people would understand about your Path and/or practice is: Its just as good as yours and stop trying to tell me I'm going to hell. That place doesn't exist in my faith, so I can't go there. :p

Do you teach? I wish I could. What I want is to 'teach' children in the sense that there is still wonder and magic in the natural world.

What do you feel is the role of clergy in modern Paganism and Heathenism? Eh, I don't know. I'm of the opinion that you don't need a priest or priestess because all the information is there. You can learn about it and get stuff from it with or without them. Its like teaching in a sense: some people make it seem like you don't know a damn thing and they're all knowing. Not good.

When the Veil (or Hedge!) is thin, how does that feel to you? Static in the air. Anything can happen.

What entities do you work with most? (ancestors, gods, fae etc)Deities and Dragons.

What is your relationship with the Land? I love it and talk with it.

The most important aspect of ritual is: the thought and emotion behind it.

The main purpose of ritual is: I don't know how to answer this one. I suppose it depends.

What is the purpose of divination/dowsing (or whichever form of augury you use)? To see the possibilities and if a 'fix' is called for.

What was the most difficult book you ever read? (Either difficult to understand or hard to face what it said or both) I don't remember the title but it was the first book on Wicca that I picked up. I was so lost.

What book do you recommend the most to others? Honestly, anything by Cunningham. Some people may not like his work but I think it is the perfect springboard! Its all easy to understand and it helps newcomers to work their way into it.

What is you favourite podcast (if any) and favourite blog (other than your own)? Yikes. Not a podcast person and I go to too many blogs to figure that out. @_@

If you could impart only one last piece of wisdom or knowledge, or share one experience with the world at large, what would it be? Look to nature if you loose your way.

Is there an additional question you would like to see here? What is it? (please also answer) None.  This was good.

Please finish this meme with a picture, image or photograph of some sort:

 Heh, sim me!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

No, I Don't Have Bathroom Issues

I know, odd title but it fits.  I've been "poo free" for about 5 or 6 months now.  Meaning that I haven't used shampoo and/or, in my case, conditioner for this amount of time.  I don't remember how I came upon all of it, though I think it had something to do with a link to a blog entry that was then linked to another entry by the author.  @_@  That was probably it.

Anywho, no shampoo for me or for Grendal.  He was my teammate with this endeavor which made me oh so happy.  I warned him about the ick factor that everyone wrote about.  I mean, you're no longer using shampoo to strip your hair of the oils and what not and then conditioner to make it feel and smell nice.  There was about a week for Grendal where his hair didn't look all that lovely and felt nasty.  Me?  It took me nearly a month to get over. D:  I swear that Grendal is Wolverine or something.  He heals insanely fast and gets over things that would take a 'normal' person a while to get over.  He has a cold for a day and it sticks with me for a week.  Grendal got his ear pierced.  We took good care of it and what not.  One day he takes it out to let his ear have a rest and within 12 hours he couldn't push the piercing through. :o  This makes me believe that whenever he gets his tattoos he'll heal beautifully!

It took a lot of testing to figure out the combination that we both needed to make this "no poo" thing work.  People were saying that a cup of the shampoo would last them a while, but Grendal and I need to use a cup each per hair washing.  Then again we both have thick, curly hair and it's considered long(everyone else had short hair or pixie cuts).  Grendal can use a small handful of his conditioner(water, cider vinegar, and cinnamon) on his entire head and his hair is BEAUTIFUL.   I can't use the cider vinegar because it makes my hair way too oily, so I have to make my own mixture using white vinegar and I use more than he does.  While my hair doesn't look nice that same day, I can go a week without washing my hair and it still looks great!  I mean I still have to run water through it but no need to wash it until I feel like it needs to or it starts looking a little oily. :P

My mother looked at me odd when I told her what I was doing and what exactly I was using to clean my hair.  She knew that shampoo was horrible for your hair and in response bought some of this WEN Hair Products that is supposed to be wonderful and do away with shampooing.  It's pretty much deep conditioning and what not.  Well, I was crashing over at her place and was trying to figure out whether or not I would just rinse my hair or make my mixture when she told me to just use the WEN products.  I hoped in the shower and was looking at the bottle.  It was rather small and I would have to use roughly 15 squirts of the stuff.  Seemed like alot to me.  I turned the bottle around and looked at the ingredients and then grabbed the Aussie Conditioner that was still in the shower.  While WEN does have more natural ingredients the chemicals it used were the same ones that Aussie used, though there was less.   Needless to say I just rinsed my hair.  My mother loves to get the newest thing and what not, so I'll let her enjoy paying out the nose for that stuff.  She has the money, lol.

That brings me to something else that I've been noticing.  What is wrong with curly hair??  My mother is trying to get rid of hers, my older sister is straightening my eldest niece's hair and my niece hates her curly hair.  D:  Or is it just my family?  I don't see many people with curly hair in general so when I do see it I'm happy.  Sure it may not be natural but there is someone else sporting the curly 'do!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Pagan Blog Prompt: Balance Between God and Goddess

A lot of Pagan paths are Goddess-centered, sometimes seen as a rebuttal against the God-centered churches. But as Pagans, we also understand that balance in all areas of our life is important, and even necessary to our personal growth.

Today's topic is the balance between the God and Goddess in our own journey. Are you more attuned with the Lord or Lady? Do you follow a path that focuses on one more than the other? Or have you found a good balance between the 'two halves'?

I'm a stickler for balance and equality(I'm a Libra, go figure) so I honestly try to achieve a balance between Gods and Goddesses.  Because of this I've always felt a little irked by such a focus on the Goddess figure.  Growing up I was annoyed with mainstream religion because of the focus on a male figure.  Switching to Wicca and some Pagan beliefs it seemed to be the opposite.  They focus on the female figure and, oh yeah, there's a male figure too.

In the end I've kind of forged my own path, trying to get that balance I want.  Looking at the Canaanite beliefs it seems there is a balance there but there isn't enough information to see for sure.

As for attuning with them.....Oddly enough I feel more inclined towards the Gods rather than Goddesses, if I like it or not.  XD  I'm a bit of a tomboy in general and it seems to reflect in other aspects of my life.  I do fight against it in a sense so I guess you could say I'm working on it.  lol.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The Last to Arrive

I'm always slow on the uptake when it comes to following the crowd or the trend.  Don't know why.

Yes, it's 2011.  Year of the rabbit.  One more year closer to 2012 and the end of the world.  Okay, sorry for that last bit.  I'm a nut when it comes to reading up on that type of stuff; I blame my father and his love of reading up on that stuff.  I don't believe the world will end but I am hoping for a major change.  Or at least something interesting to happen.

Everyone has made their resolutions already.  I usually don't make any because I've had a horrible track record with them.  Here is to hoping this year is different enough!

1) Have a garden that thrives, or even a potted plant.  I have a black thumb, I swear, but I want to make something grow!

2) Get better at reading my tarot so I no longer have to rely on that stupid little book.

3) Work more with the Gods and Goddesses of the world, and be mindful of conflicts between them.

4) Get more in touch with nature!

5) Be proud of my path and never shy away from talking about it if someone asks.

These should be easy enough for me, except for the first one.  :|  I have killed more plants than I like to admit.  I never mean to, it just happens.  I've been wanting a garden for years, have tried for the past 3, and something always happens.  First year was kinda my fault.  I need to remember when asking a fertility deity to aid in the growth of plants to SPECIFY the ones that I planted.  The weeds were nuts that year.

On a happier note I managed to pick up a copy of Whisper of Stone: Natib Qadish: Modern Cannanite Religion.  I've read up to the chapters on the holidays and I'm loving it!  So much information and the author is always reminding the reader that the majority of the book is what they figured out from the sparse amount of knowledge of the religion.  She(I think it's a she) goes as far to give the names of all the books and what not she went through to get the information, and really wants you to read them for yourself!  Surprisingly enough Grendal's mother told me she'd like to read it when I'm done.  I don't know if she is genuinely interested in the subject or is doing the motherly thing and wanting to see what I'm reading.

I also got a copy of Buckland's Blue Book of witchy knowledge.  Okay, obviously not the actual title but the book is all the way on the other side of the room and this little miss doesn't feel like climbing over boxes to get to it. Ha.

Anyway, I have to cut this short.  The sleeping beast(i.e. Grendal) is awake and we both need our coffee.  Happy New Year and here is to hoping this one is better then the last!